Why is it so hard to be who you want to be? Maybe it isn't for a lot of people. I know some of it comes from insecurity. I don't consider myself insecure, never have, but then again, it only takes one little comment to make me doubt myself. This is one of the main things I am working on during this journey.
There is one aspect of my life that I really don't have any insecurities about and that is in decorating my house. Now, there are some of my family members who probably break out in a rash when they come in my house, because it is such a hodge podge of art, colors and STUFF! But I love it all. Alan and I both love art and have collected pieces over the years, original art, outsider art, posters, and of course I have a few things of mine here and there. It doesn't necessarily "match". I have a hot pink chaise in my den, I call it my "pink happy". It is the most comfortable place to sit. I am very fortunate to have a husband who is okay with a hot pink chaise in the den. Does it match anything else? What do you think? Um....no, but I do have a chair that I need to recover, so I intend to do that with something that will give the "pink happy" some reason to be in the room, besides the fact that I LOVE it. So I am working on taking this level of security and happiness to other parts of my life.
A few years ago I knitted a sweater/jacket. I wore it a couple of times and had people stopping me and asking where I got it. And then I had a couple of people in my family that commented on how "over the top" it was and rolled their eyes. I never wore it again. Until Friday night. At first I put on my usual combination of black and boring, and then I thought, "you better practice what you are preaching on your journey and put that sweater on!" So I did, and I LOVED wearing it! I don't care if it is over the top, I don't care if people think I look like I have on a clown suit. It's me! AND I am posting a picture of me in it- another fear faced!
Oh yeah, the fabulous fun necklace- my friend Michele makes these- check them out, she has a ton of other cute stuff too, she is SUPER talented! Her art is so awesome, just like her! And she dresses just the way she wants, she has introduced me to some really wonderful artists and I love everything she does! Everyone needs a friend like Michele and did I mention she is OUTSTANDINGLY supportive of me.
I am making progress.... in four days!