Day 83- Not Your Door

if it doesn't open, it's not your door
You know the saying, "I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall"? If you are a parent, I KNOW you know the feeling! I used to say this a lot when my kids were growing up and NOT listening to me. 
I think this is the same thing. If you keep trying and trying to do something, and it isn't working, then maybe, just maybe, it is not what you are SUPPOSED to be doing. Either way, you are beating your head against a brick wall. The door isn't opening and there just might be a reason for that, it's NOT your door!
I have been thinking about this a lot in regards to my businesses. I have an Etsy shop where I sell all my personalized products. I am really tired of the whole personalization business. I have been for awhile. Tired of doing proofs, tired of trying to get in touch with customers who don't tell me what they want, tired of people not ordering correctly, I could go on and on.  However, I have been REALLY successful with it. I have been wanting to quit, but it's hard to give up the money, even if it is not making me happy.
I am pretty stubborn, and haven't been willing to give it up.  I think the Universe is sending me a message, it's slowly closing this door for me. (Thank you Universe, since I have been too chicken to do it myself.)  Etsy has changed a lot of stuff and making it harder for older, established stores to be seen. So I don't get that many orders anymore, which is really okay. Enough to have a little money coming in, but mostly it has freed me up to have TIME. Something I have had very little of in the past few years. Time to pursue my art, to go on this journey, time to do things that are MUCH more important than money.
I have my website where I have been trying to sell my leggings. They are GREAT leggings, they are cute. Everyone that has them LOVES them. But it isn't taking off. Partly my fault, because I hate promoting, I hate being a salesperson. I LOVE being an artist and designer, but you have to do both if you want to sell online. As I said in a previous post, we went to Vegas to find someone to manufacture them, and that didn't work. Maybe this door isn't opening because it isn't my door. When I started doing my leggings there were barely ANY leggings out there that were brightly colored. Now there are ZILLIONS! If I sell some, I am grateful, I am thrilled, but this is...Possibly...Not My Door.
And I am okay with that too. I am loving this journey to sixty. I have reconnected with friends, and people I haven't talked to in a long time. I have TIME. I have time to talk to them, to email them, to respond. I can't explain what that feels like. Two years ago my Etsy business was booming and I was working 18 hours a day, AT LEAST, seven days a week. To the point I seriously thought I would have a nervous breakdown. I shut it down for a few months. I needed a break, I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I never want to be in that position again. The business running me, rather than the other way around. That seems to be taking care of itself. Possibly....Not My Door... anymore.
I am no longer trying to force doors open with a crowbar (or dynamite), because I think it is the right door for me. That is exhausting. I know, I have been trying that for awhile. I am knocking, I am waiting. I am not in a hurry because I know now, the right doors will open at the right time. Because THEY ARE MY DOORS!
I can't wait to see! Some are cracking open already, and that is exciting! But, unlike how I normally do, I am not pushing. I am not trying to make things happen, when they are not ready to happen. Patience has NEVER been a virtue of mine. Actually, that word hardly exists in my vocabulary, much less my personality. I am working on that too. I have time now.
I honestly have no idea where this journey is going, but for once I understand the concept of "it's not about the destination, it's the about the journey". OH, I think I just came up with my post for tomorrow!!!!
I hope you have a great weekend and start looking for the open doors- those are YOURS!

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