March 24, 1983
My dream came true, 34 years ago today, I became a mom!
It's Clayton's birthday today. I can hardly believe that I have a 34 year old child. I can remember the day she was born like it was just a few moments ago.
There are no stories of hours of hard labor, my doctor knew me well and gave me my epidural after I felt the first contraction (I am not a fan of pain) and he didn't want to listen to me. I slept through most of my labor and sometime before 3 am they woke me up and told me it was time to do a little work- and she was born. I can't describe the feeling I had when I first saw her, there are no words. All my life I wanted to be a mom, have a baby and now that dream had come to fruition. I was awed, that is about all I can say. I cried. I laughed. I rejoiced!
As soon as I thought it was a reasonable hour, (it probably wasn't, I think it was around 6 am), I called my mother. She had been at the hospital all night, but I had something I needed to tell her IMMEDIATELY. I HAD to apologize. For all the things I had ever done that had hurt her, or when I talked back or when I didn't listen, EVERYTHING! Because NOW, I understood.
I wanted to protect this brand new, beautiful baby girl with every ounce of my being. I never wanted her to be hurt, emotionally or physically, I never wanted her to cry, I only wanted joy and happiness for her. Unrealistic- sure. But I had only been a mom a couple of hours.
Here is what I got.
I got a daughter with style! I daughter that when she was little liked pink- not so much anymore. I got a daughter that was funny and silly. I got a daughter who was sweet and really never gave me a lot of trouble. She minded well, she wanted to do the right thing, she didn't misbehave and she made great grades when she was in school. She was easy!
I got a daughter that smiled- A LOT. I got a daughter that is FIERCELY independent. I got a daughter with a beautiful heart and soul. That fights for the underdog. She loves animals and children.
I got a daughter who was (for the most part) kind to her brothers. Even though one of them- (guess which) tormented her almost from the day he was born. They are close now- although I wouldn't have taken a bet on it when they were younger. But she protected them, she stood up for them. She is a GREAT sister.
She grew into a beautiful young woman. I know there were a few years when she probably wished that she didn't have an "artist" as a mother. We are not alike in that way. She is way more grounded than I. She is not "artsy" and even so, she accepts me for who I am. And now she tries to help me find places to sell my art, to grow more into who I am, and I can't thank her enough for that!
She went off to college and excelled. She has always remained fiercely independent. As she has gotten older, we have gotten closer. I didn't always think that was the relationship we would have, as we are so different, but now, we have the relationship that every mother dreams of having with her daughter.
She loves deeply. She is not a drama queen and never has been, she has NO time for that at all. She takes things as they come and she just deals with it. No whining, no complaining- ever. THAT is amazing to me. Then she met Blair. They are perfect for each other and we are so happy to have him as part of our family.
And then, a little over four years ago, she became a mother. To TWINS- James and Liza! What a way to start. I honestly have never known how she does what she does- and again, never complains. Now she has Henry too, she is a busy, busy mom and she does an outstanding job at it. I can honestly say I am amazed, and not because she is my daughter, but because even when it is really HARD, she just plows through. She makes it look easy, and I KNOW it is not. I have kept them, it is NOT easy. It is exhausting. It is fun, it is joyous, but it is exhausting- and how she does it day in and day out is a miracle to me.
Thank you Clayton, for being the one to make my dream come true. I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful person to come into my life. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being a wonderful daughter, sister, granddaughter, wife and most of all- being the most amazing mother I have ever had the joy of experiencing.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl. I love you more than you can ever know.